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Mother’s Day in Grief

Mother’s Day is one of those days that can seem like an affront to your grief. Whether you are a mother who is grieving her child, a child who is grieving his/her mother, or someone supporting either, the day can be delicate and emotional.

For Bereaved Families of Ontario – Midwestern Region’s suggestions for parents struggling through this day, see this handout.

From this thoughtful article, which also shared tips for supporting grieving parents, here are some coping ideas for mothers who are grieving the death of their child:

Where possible, take control, be clear and be direct. What do you hope will happen? What do you need and want to happen? You have every right to celebrate your parenthood and to remember your child, even if you still have other living children. Below are some brief suggestions to consider as you plan for this holiday and others that will follow:

• Examine your attitudes and expand your thoughts and options. What are you worried about, what do you hope will happen?
• Speak up. Acknowledge your feelings. Don’t wait for people to “guess” what you need.
• Take care of your physical health.
• Seek support from people within and outside your family, as you also take care of your emotional and spiritual health.
• Be realistic and plan ahead. Don’t overdo, do take some control.
• Be open to change, yet maintain some meaningful traditions.
• Be patient with yourself and keep the memory and spirit of your child alive in your heart.
• Think of ways to reach out to others in memory of your baby.
• Look for moments of love and joy. Spend time remembering, especially the good.
• Most of all, do what is meaningful for you and your family. Don’t let the pressure from others keep you from doing what you need and want to do.

For further tips on how to support a grieving mother on this day, visit this article via Today’s Parent.

 

For those who are facing Mother’s Day in the wake of their own mother’s death, be gentle with yourself.

 

• Don’t try to minimize the loss. Acknowledge your loss and the difficulty this day brings.
• Do something positive in memory of your mother or engage in an activity that will connect you to her. Complete a ritual such as lighting a candle, visiting the gravesite, planting flowers in her memory or making her favorite recipe.
• Share happy memories as well as the sad ones
• Honour other women in your life who may have helped you along the way
• Take the time and space you need

 

If you you would like more support, or further resources, please contact the office: 519-603-0196 or support@bfomidwest.org