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New Year’s Grief
While many are excited about flipping the calendar to 2018 and starting fresh, for those who are grieving, the start of another year can be difficult. It can signify another 365 days without their loved one or be yet another reminder of the milestones that will be missed. “Happy New Year” wishes (like Merry Christmas) can also be hard to hear and fathom.
If you are grieving the death of a loved one, or supporting someone who is, the following exercise can be helpful in acknowledging and working through some of the emotions and anxieties that can be present at this time of year.
- What do you want to take from last year and bring into the new year?
This could be things like friendships, a new hobby or activity you started that you enjoy, perspectives you gained, feelings of joy (which are totally okay, even when – or perhaps especially when – we are grieving).
- What do you want to leave behind? Relationships can also be on this list. Often, when a loved one dies, relationships change and we become very aware of ones that are no longer wanted. It’s okay to let those go. This could also be negative self-talk or things that bring you a significant amount of stress.
- What do you need/want to add? Consider things like expanding your circle of support, patience with your grief experience and where you are in it, being in nature, going for walks, laughing… Maybe it’s finally starting that hobby you’ve been thinking about for a while.
Once you’ve answered these questions, tuck this reflection away and revisit it from time to time. Try not to put pressure on yourself if you haven’t made as much progress as you’d like. Like grief, there is no timeline to accomplish any of these. And with the transition into a new year, please be gentle with yourselves and know you are not alone on this journey.
For more tips and resources about grief and the New Year, please see the following blog posts and articles.
Why Happy New Year is Tough on Bereaved Parents
A New Year and the Challenge of Grief
Facing A New Year Can Be Difficult After The Death Of A Loved One
Don’t say “Happy New Year” after a death
New Year’s Resolutions for the Bereaved
A Different Kind Of New Year: Coping With Grief In “The Year of Firsts”